#19 on my list, Read 15 new books (#7)

Why a book on manners? What are manners? Why do we need to concern ourselves with proper etiquette? What priority do we need to place on all the above? "Manners" is defined as our way of acting, our social conduct. Etiquette is the use of good manners. Having good manners and observing the rules of etiquette need not be a burden. It is simply caring about one another's feelings and comfort. It stems from common sense and thoughtfulness. The reason for this book is that it might become a quick reference for those many occasions in which you might have a question as to the right thing to do or say or wear. May your motivation to do the right thing come from a desire to "walk worthy of the Lord unto all pleasing" (Col. 1:10).

This was a really easy read for book #7 on my list, which was nice considering how busy I've been lately. It was a real blessing to receive from my friend Trish. Her daughter was initially looking at it and she didn't know if they had anymore and so I asked Trish if she knew, as she was purchasing it. She said it was the only one, but then said if I wanted it I could have it, on her. With the stipulation that I DO read it. Well the other day I got the chance as I was waiting for a friend at Starbucks.

Initially I thought there would be more explanation behind the rules, but when you think about it good manners never need any real explanation. You either have them or you don't.

Some of the rules, I thought, were just common sense. Like, A wise Christian woman does not eavesdrop. However, most of these rules, like when walking with a man, it is a womans place to be on the inside of the walk, have pretty much died off in society so it's nice to have a reference to have handy (my dad tought me that rule on one of our father daughter dates when I was 16). And how do I know it's dead, because I've had to tell guys about that rule and the've looked at me like I'm crazy.

Some of the chapters and corresponding rules

1. In the Home
~ The conscientious Christian woman will not allow the slits on her dress to rise higher than the bottom of her knee.
The list of traditional anniversary gifts was also neat.

2. In the House of God
~ The children of a thoughtful Christian woman are not to be found running through the church (this is a huge pet peeve of mine when I see it).

3. In the Market Place
~ The womans escort is to be seated to her left.
One that wasn't mentioned, and my Dad also taught me, is that a man is to be seated facing the door, when sitting in a restaurant.

4. House-Trained
~ Children should not be allowed to interrupt others while they are conversing (another pet peeve).

5. Time for Tea
~ Never extend the ring or pinkie finger while drinking a cup of tea.
I also enjoyed seeing the steeping time for different teas.

If I ever have a daughter it will be a good teaching tool. Of course I'm going to have to learn and practice most of these myself since example really is the best tool in teaching children how to operate in society. Anyway, it's a good book for those who are interested in what the rules of polite society are, or those who really want to put it into practice. If you're interested you can get it through Sword of the Lord Publishers (and yes here's the link for it). They also have one for young men. I'm thinking Christmas presents for next year. Dad, Nancy, what do you think?

#19 on my list, Read 15 new books (#6)

Soon you will all find out about my great Christmas vacation, but for the mean time I will tell you all about book #6 from my list. It ended up being Boy Meets Girl by Joshua Harris. It's a really good book that takes a look at courtship. Both what it means and how to go about it in the "recreational dating" world that we live in.

A few years ago I read his book I Kissed Dating Goodbye, which was really helpful for my new outlook on relationships. This one was just as insightful and helpful for me. See, as a young child, I always held to a pretty traditional outlook on what boys should do and what girls should do. Dads work and Moms stay home. Boys do the pursuing and girls do the waiting. This outlook wasn't particularly enforced by anything in my family, that I can recall, it's just what always seemed like the right thing.

Of course, as adults know, we tend to make life more complicated as we grow up. Especially if we don't have strong biblical foundations, but I digress. The point is that as I grew up I succumbed to the pressures that this world offers up in the area of relationships. However, after reading both of these books (as well as my Bible), and sitting under sound biblical teaching on this matter it turns out that the very ideals that I thought were right, and held to as a child, were right. Or I guess what I should say is that they match up with what the Bible has to say about relationships, and it's just been nice to read these two books and have those thoughts confirmed.

Anyway, what Josh proposes, in this book is getting back to the basics which is that a man should only pursue a relationship with a girl once he's ready to get married (men that means you must have employment too). I mean Boaz didn't date around until he came upon Ruth (of course I had to reference my favorite book) and he owned an entire field. He definitely came with his A game. Admittedly, in the book, that doesn't mean that just because you pursue a relationship with someone that you will get married to that person, but rather that unless you are willing to be married to someone you should not be entering into random relationships with the opposite sex. Hence courtship enters the picture. The term courting was actually born out of the middle ages when knights of the court would try and woo the ladies of the court. It has, much to societies chagrin, evolved into what we now know as dating (I cringe at the thought of it evolving into "hooking up", but that seems to be were it has started to go).

This book helped me in a couple areas. Primarily since I've only ever imagined what this aspect of life can, and hopefully will, hold for me it gave me some practical information as to what I should be expecting from any potential suitors, as well as what I should be bringing to the table and prioritizing in my own heart and mind. This particular edition of the book also has some ideas/guidelines as to basic conversations to hold with each other as well as some pretty fun "date" ideas that accompany the actual conversations. For example, and this one would be a little difficult for me due to my dietary needs, but one of them suggests discussing and finding a way to get a decent dinner for under $10 while discussing your financial history, present and the future. The other thing I liked about the book, was that it's not just for young people looking for guidance, which a lot of books of this particular genre are, but rather it speaks to older people, like myself. It addresses certain issues that many of us, who received Christ later on in life face.

But one of the things that I loved about reading this book was how relaxing it was. At best it takes me a week or two to read a book, which is relaxing in and of itself, but this was a huge exception. On Christmas Day I was allowed time to just sit read, which was sooo relaxing. Because of this gift, I basically read the book in a day. Which is ironic because the last time I was able to do that I was on a C-130 flying to Japan for a deployment. And what, pray tell, was the book that I read that leads to this delicious irony. Well it was none other than Joshua Harris' first book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye". LOL, I love it:) And I hope that all of you who read this get the opportunity to read the book.

#19 on my list, Read 15 new books (#5)

I just finished my 5th book on my list. Gluten Free Girl by Shauna James Ahern. It's just after midnight, but I had to start writing before I forgot what I wanted to say about this book.

Originally when I was reading this book I started to feel like the author was a bit preachy with her specialty shops and organic oratories, for I too know the benefits of living in the majestic North West, but what I was really reacting to was the knowledge that I, and I alone, have not been taking the necessary steps to take care of my own self with celiacs disease. I do the best that I can with what I have, but knowing that there are other things that I should, or at least could, be doing to take better care of myself left me feeling irritated and frustrated with myself over the facts that I wasn't aware of, and should have been. Like root beer. I love root beer. Brown cows (root beer floats to the rest of you) are one of my favorites, and yet until tonight, while reading the very end of the book, I had no idea that the malt used to make the root beer contained gluten. How many times have I had root beer since being diagnosed 2 years ago? I don't even know. You see I don't have health insurance right now and so all of the research that I've done has been on my own, and nothing that I've read up until this point has ever mentioned anything like that!

Restaurants have been another on going issue for me. I'm always wary when going out with friends. My friends are great though (shout out for the girls), but as careful as I try to be, also because they watch me like hawks, I always feel apprehensive about the fork full of food that I put in my mouth, not knowing what it has been near. Even this past summer at the chain restaurant that my friends and I ate at, and even though the waitress we had did understand the disease and did her best to accommodate me, I still had to wonder about that first bite since I don't know what was going on in the kitchen. However, thanks to the authors husband, who cooks gluten free, I now have a new restaurant that I'll have to try, which, if I go, will probably be the only one that I'll attend for awhile. I say it like that since the menu looks a little pricey. So why do I got restaurants if I'm afraid to eat? Because I refuse to let that fear captivate me and take me away from spending time with those that I care about. All that I can do is the best I can with salads and meat filled meals (no fettuccine Alfredo for me). I simply refuse to let the hesitation I have about those places hinder me from a good time. Now I have even more tools take with me the next time I walk inside a restaurant.

But as well crafted as Shauna's tale is, it is not simply a story of someone with celiacs disease. It is, in my opinion, a love story. A story of someones love for food, love for themselves, love of life, and finding love when no one wants to deal with obstacles such as this one. Celiacs disease can be imposing for most people to deal with, for it's always in the forefront of the mind when traveling or going out. But somehow amidst the losers who couldn't see past the static she found someone who not only was willing to look past it, but could accommodate her needs as well. For you see only God could put together something as charming as someone who loves food, as well as being challenged by it, to someone who can cook it. For as I stated earlier she got to marry a chef! Life is full of irony. However, my favorite part of the book was the end. Not only does Shauna's tale come to a happy conclusion, but she talks about the lengths that he goes to in order to keep her safe, which were things that I never thought of. None the less I was touched by the chivalry and care that he took to make sure her system is not tainted. Like, he will brush his teeth before kissing her after eating something with gluten in it just to make sure there is nothing left on his breath that could contaminate her. Now it's been a long time since I was kissed like that, but I can fully appreciate the gesture and tenderness that he must feel for her in order to put her well being before his libido. I mean who would think that something as delicious as a kiss could harm the one you love. Are there anymore of those out there? A girl can hope, right?

I highly recommend this book. Not just for those that have this disease, but for those that love those with it as well. Though Sahuna's story is unique to her, you can get a sense of what the average person goes through and the anxiety they face, in certain situations, with this disease. Shauna embraced her disease with fervor, which honestly I've had trouble with. I miss my breads, and now I know I'll miss root beer too, but knowledge is power and it's good to know that I can continue learning how to make myself better and heal my body so that one day I can take care of not just myself, but my family as well (whenever I get one).

#19 on my list, Read 15 new books (#4)

This was book number four for me. I'm a nut for reading true stories about peoples lives. I've always had a fascination with knowing what makes people tick and how they get by in this life with the decisions that are put before them. It started when I was little.

One summer my mom took us to the library almost weekly, there was a contest at the time for the people who could read the most books by the end of the summer. Me being the driven and competative person that I am I was determined to win. I forget what the grand prize was, but that's a mute point since I did win something awesome anyway, 4 tickets to and Oakland A's baseball game!!! It was a fun family outing. Anyway, most of what I read that summer were biographys about historical heros like George Washington, Betsy Ross, Helen Keller and Benjamin Franklin (yes, even at 7 I was a dork).

This book, however, was way beyond that but no less heroic in the sense that an ordinary woman met extrodinary cirumstances head on in order to keep her sanity as well as her family together.

Carolyn Jessop was born into the FLDS and was at 18 married into an abusive family (I'll spare any details). I'm not going to lie, this book was hard to read at times. Carolyn not only talks about the abuse that was leveled against her, but against her sister wives, as well as her children (These were especially hard passages to read in one sitting. More than once I had to put the book down and come back to it at a later time.), and there are a few curse words that are in it as well. However, if you can get through it, by the end of the book, you are cheering for Carolyn and her family as they over come their challenges and learn to live in a world that they were raised to believe as evil, and find not only love in stable relationships, but within themselves as well.

#19 on my list, Read 15 new books (#3)

Sophies Heart has been the latest book in my list of 15 to read, and though I'm not normally a reader of "Christian Romance" it was nice to read a different type of book. It was sweet and sentimental and a great "chick book" to read. All thanks goes to Kali for lending it to me.

The story is about a woman named Sophie who is from Czechoslovakia, circa 1989 during the cold war, and how her faith leads her to the US where she, by chance, becomes a nanny for a family where the wife and mother has died in a car crash. The family is of course paralized by grief at first meeting, but slowly they all start to accept and love Sophie, especially the patriarch Alec Riley.

The book doesn't rely heavily on the love story from the beginning, the love doesn't even begin to blossom between the 2 characters until almost 300 pages into it. Instead it relies on the characters and their respective story lines and weaves them together in a way that tugs on the heart of all those that have faced challenges and hope for true love. Lori Wick (the author) also has done a good job in helping to articulate the power of the Bible's gospel message within the pages of this story.

Like I said earlier this is not a regular genre that I like to read, however, after the past school quarter reading nothing except for chapters on the history of Western Civilization from the 1700's to today as well as a book on art and it's role in the humanities it was nice to read something that I didn't have to analyze.

#19 on my list, Read 15 new books (#2)

Tapas is the Spanish word for appetizers. Originally, according to legend, King Alfonso "The Wise" ordered all restaurants to serve appetizers, in between drinks, after he himself was "cured" by such a treatment after being ill. However, the likelihood of this scenario might actually be more legend than fact, hyped up over centuries of alcoholics indulging in appetizers so they can drink more. Regardless of that fact, this second installment of my reading list was made on behalf of practicality, not necessarily because it's something I would have normally picked out.

About a month ago my Spanish teacher gave my class a project to read a book that was influenced by some aspect of Spanish culture, and when we reported on it we had to write the report in Spanish. I wasn't quite sure what kind of book I wanted read, but I always like a good biography and and I'd never read one that had the element of travel to it so I thought that this would be a good book for me.

The premise of the book is that Polly Evans, who was working in Hong Kong as a magazine editor, got fed up with her life at and where it was going at that particular point and time, and in a effort to move beyond her regular scope of life and change the direction it was going in she decided to buy a bike and bike across Spain.

Polly's book also weaves the rich Spanish culture into her book by treating the reader to mini history lessons, that you can almost picture her thinking these thoughts as she's biking across the mountains of Andelusia. She informs the readers of the religious background of the country, how most every social group (including the King and Queen for a time) was persecuted for their beliefs. Polly also offers up humorous anecdotes that she experienced along her trip, the experiences of being chased by wild pigs and the odd cast of characters that come into her life on her trip. From Nazi taxi drivers at the airport to spinster hostel owners each one helps to add color to the trip that really helped her to arrive at a peaceful place, amid the frantic nature that plagued her mind at the beginning of the book.

The story brings to light the thought that we really are capable of doing things and pushing ourselves farther than we may have thought, even if our intentions at the beginning of our endeavour may be purely selfish. Polly began her trip simply wanting to get away from the chaos and trappings of the city. She left China wanting to discover a new world and culture and in the process dicovered a little of herself along the way.

Other Books by Polly Evans
Fried Eggs with Chopsticks
Kiwis Might Fly: Around New Zealand on Two Big Wheels
On a Hoof and a Prayer: Around Argentina at a Gallop
Mad Dogs and an English Woman

#19 on my list, Read 15 new books (#1)

Number 19 on my list has me reading 15 new books this year. I plan on having it be an eclectic list, some books that I'll learn something from and others will just be fun for fun. Some will focus on health and others will focus on the heart.

So with that disclaimer I'd like to let you all know that I finished my first one last night! It's called, For Women Only, written by Shaunti Feldhann. It's about the things that men wish we new about them, and how they really feel about us (as women), but more specifically their wives. Now as most of you out there may know, I am not a wife, yet (I still hold out hope), however, when I read books like this it's always with that expectation in mind, and more specifically, because I am an observer of people, I usually draw on past experiences and behavior that I have witnessed in order to understand why I do the things that I do, and feel the way that I feel about certain things. It's a short read, only 9 chapters (if I had more time I could have probably finished it in a day, but then again I don't know if I would have gotten all that I did out of it), and those 9 chapters are chock full of things that most women don't know.

For better, or worse, I have been in the company of men for a good part of my life. They were always my closest friends growing up, I'm close with my Dad, I have 4 brothers (I am the only girl), and I was in the Navy for 5 years, so a lot of the information I had already been told, and was there for not new to me. What was new to me, and never dispensed in my direction, was HOW important some of these things are to men and how some of those aspects have affected my own life and the company I have kept with men.

The 9 chapters include the following:

1. Light bulb On!,How I Woke Up to What I Didn’t Know About Men
2. Your Love Is Not Enough, Why Your Respect Means More to Him than Even Your Affection
3. The Performance of a Lifetime, Why Your Mr. Smooth Looks So Impressive but Feels Like an Impostor
4. The Loneliest Burden, How His Need to Provide Weighs Your Man Down, and Why He
Likes It That Way
5. Sex Changes Everything, Why Sex Unlocks a Man’s Emotions (Guess Who Holds the Key?)
6. Keeper of the Visual Rolodex, Why It’s So Natural for Him to Look and So Hard to Forget What He’s Seen
7. Chocolate, Flowers, Bait Fishing, Why the Reluctant Clod You Know Really Does Want Romance
8. The Truth About the Way You Look, Why What’s on the Outside Matters to Him on the Inside
9. Words for Your Heart, What Your Man Most Wishes You Knew About Him

So I won't give a synopsis of what I thought about all the chapters, but chapters 2, 4, 7, and 8 resonated for me the most. Mostly because of the general lack of respect that I've seen women give to men, and all of those chapters set a tone for how we, as women choose to, and can show our respect to men. Reading it I could see how a great many things that my Dad did for me, like teaching me to play golf or how to understand football, and to enjoy fishing and camping, could be looked at as attempts to cultivate a sense of what men like to take part in so that I can share in those things with my future husband, and not just demand the typical "girly" type dates (although those will be nice too). But I truly do like to do those things and that sense of play, that chapter 7 talks about will be very important. As a matter of fact I know that it already is for me because any boyfriend that I've ever had, hasn't lasted very long if he didn't want to do anything. I love my Dad very much and I'm so glad that he is who he is, and has helped to make me into the person that I am today.

Anyway, I could continue to go on with my opinions on the topics of the book, however the bottom line is that I definitely recommend this book for all women no matter what their station is married, or single, or even if they just want to know a little bit more about what makes people, men in this instance, tick. True we'll never fully know or be able to understand them, but it's nice to at least break away a little of the barrier that exists between the sexes.

If you're interested I've put a link to the website on my fave links list (it still looks like they're trying to put it together, but it still gives a synopsis of the surveys that were taken for the book that you can see if you submit a free registration). There are also a few other books of her's that she has written along the same lines, For Men Only (obviously that's about us and written for them), and there is also, For Young Women Only and For Young Men Only.

So my adoring public, that is 1 book down and 14 more to go!