Setbacks & Promises . . . A post I've delyed in writing

Remember in a past post when I wrote about my computer dying and in the same week then my car started having problems? Well a couple weeks ago, as I was having my car washed at a fundraiser for the local High School it sat in idle and then refused to start again. I sat in my car while 4 teenagers pushed it in to an empty parking spot and called my roommate to come & get me, my mechanic to see if he was open (thankfully he was) and a tow-truck to come and get it. This was not the weekend that I planned in my minds eye.

Naturally, once the car was at the garage it started right up. If you've ever had car problems you know how frustrating this can be. It can make a person feel like they're going crazy. But I know my car and my mechanic has stopped questioning my intuition when things go wrong with it. My mechanic tried all weekend & even into Tuesday to try and get my car to mimic the problem and checked the wires all to no avail. He came up with the same conclusion that I was pondering. . . it's the starter. Not as expensive as a new clutch or transmission, but expensive enough that I know I don't have the cash on me to take care of it and needing my car that only left on option. An option that was frustrating and disheartening to acknowledge because it meant a setback in my goal and progress that I had been making in my financial goals. I may not have added anything to it on my recent shopping trip but my car was another story. With one fail swipe, my hard work was instantly dissolved.

The other setback that I have is in regards to the choice I made to set school aside for now. That choice came back in the winter. And even though finishing my BA is a goal I have for myself, I need time to re-evaluate the time that I can give to it. Full-time work, and Full-time school, and attending to the responsibilities of my ministries all got to overwhelming. So I chose to follow after the things in my life that I know will edify my spirit, and not my ego. However, with that choice came the responsibility that I have to repay what I did not finish. It's not the whole amount, but it's still quite a chunk and I can't run from it, I can't bury my head in the sand and pretend that it won't go away, because doing that would have even worse consequences.

I've been bumming pretty hard though and feeling discouraged over these recent events. One step forward two steps back kinda thing. Which is why I've been largely absent from here. The PRIDE, ouch...yes the sin of pride crept into my heart and made me want to cloister myself away, from my friends and my blog, and pretend like it would all be OK. But writing is cathartic for me, and isolating myself from my friends never turns out well either, and in order to get over that hump and let that healing begin I had to finally suck it up and just say something. Because if I didn't I would probably end up giving up all together. So I've removed my ticker for now, until I get to place where I know what's what. I will still be blogging through this new endeavor though the ticker will just be gone for now.

However, through all of this upheaval I keep remembering the words that a good friend has given me recently. Actually it was more the encouragement in her directing me to the Bible and God actually giving me the council from Malachi 3:10,11 "Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the LORD of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it. And I will rebuke the devourer for your sakes, and he shall not destroy the fruits of your ground; neither shall your vine cast her fruit before the time in the field, saith the LORD of hosts." The promise is not that discouraging times won't come, but that so long as I remain faithful in my giving that the Lord promises to keep the "devourer" away from me. So while things may seem discouraging now, my hope is in the Lord. So really it's just mind over matter, knowledge over feelings, but I am only human. There really is no peace like the Lord doles out. It's nice to have something in spades, because the cash just ain't flowing freely these days.

Also check out 'Singleness of Heart' at Grace & Honor because once again Jackie article and my life events seem to be running on a parallel course, like the Lord knows something I don't. Actually, He knows everything I don't.

Lastly, I don't usually post prayer requests, but for those of you that do pray, please pray for my car. Not long after I got it back the check engine light came on and when I went to Auto Zone for a free diagnostic check it came back saying that my EGR valve was starting to go bad as well. What can I say when it rains it pours. The part's not to expensive and I definitely want/need to get it fixed before my trip to the Oregon coast in July, but who knows what the labor costs for replacement will be.

Drive safely ya'll.

My Benevolent Benefactor

ARG. . .technology has held me hostage over the past couple days. Out of nowhere my laptop started acting "hinky" i.e. acting up. And then it died on me...the nerve! I mean it didn't even recognize my user password anymore:(

So after having a mental breakdown last Thursday night I took the necessary steps to try and calm down.
1) Did I pray? (check)
2) Did I cry? (check, check)
3) Did I pray some more (check, check, check)
4) Did I finally come to the realization that I may have to buy a new computer and that it's not the worst thing in the world because I will have the money for it, even if it will take a bite out of what I wanted to but on my credit card balance? (check, check, check, check)
and finally I prayed again.

See it goes with the negative philosophy that the second you pay something off it's going to break. And I don't like to give into that kind of self-pity, but it was very frustrating to have to think about taking my laptop in to be fixed, which I don't have the money for either, or potentially buying a new one. But what to do?

I was home by myself, my roommate being at work, so there was no one to commiserate with and so I sent out an text APW (All Points Whine) style, as apposed to an APB (All Points Bulletin) to my girls, Kali & Nicki. Knowing that there was nothing that they could do about it, but knowing that I also needed some sympathy.

Well, wouldn't you know it. Nicki actually had another option for me and asked me if I wanted her "old" one. We actually got ours around the same time, but she had gotten a new one for herself not long ago, which I had not known about prior to my disaster. To her it was just sitting in her closet, collecting dust and waiting for something useful to be done with it. It was also 2 models up from the one that I got in 2007. Needless to say I was surprised. I'm not a hinter like that, if I need something I'll ask, but I never would have known to ask a friend for something like that anyway, nor would I expect a friend to relinquish their computer so willingly. But she did, and I love her for it.

Looking back I did loose some information that I will miss, the videos from my Flip camera, like Sherri's devotion for Amber's bridal shower, and information on my MS One Note that I had saved for future plans. But other than that there wasn't anything major because I had all my photos, Bible Institute Assignments, SS lessons, and Devotions on my external hard drive. Whew!!!

This gesture was a definite answer to a prayer, even if it may seem silly to some out there. The reason I post this story as a testimony to account for the fact that my paying off my debt is something that the Lord is interested in and that He is capable of helping to provide for material things, as well as spiritual. I could still buy a new laptop if I wanted, but that would put my finances back from where I'm hoping to be in another year or so, and so unless something else goes horribly wrong I'll be happily using this one for the time being and then buy one when the money actually becomes available to me, rather than stack on more debt yet again. Even in the middle of doing the right thing tests sometimes come our way the key is in how you respond.

My Benevolent Benefactor was not just encompassed in Nicki and her generosity, but ultimately in the Lord who brought us together in friendship in the first place.

Proverbs 18:24 A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.

Weekend Adventures & Jumping Beans

It was a dark and stormy night. Beyond that, the weekend began like any other just four girl friends that wanted to get away for a night and day trip. . .off the island, that was their home. Little did they know what would await them beyond the confines of the security of their homes. The driver successfully navigated her Oldsmobile Bravada through the pounding rain, which sounded like a snare drum as it pounded against the windshield and sloshed against the rolling tires, to the ferry dock. The driver drove into her assigned ferry slot, and as time passed on the 30 minute passage the lights in the car began to flicker, the flow of air shut itself off, and the radio died. As the ferry docked other cars around them began to turn over their engines, but the only sound that permeated the air surrounding the Bravada was the gurgle and scratching of the engine as it struggled to boost it's power.

The driver's attempt to start the Bravada were futile and the girls sat amazed and were shocked into fits of laughter over the predicament that they had found themselves in.

Finally the ferry workers broke out the "big gun" and Kali was able to start her car.

See the girls in the car were Maggie, Nicki, Kali (the driver) and myself, and the reason for our island departure was to finally execute the giving of my Christmas present from last December.

For those that have followed this blog you know that over the past year I was busy setting to work on a list of things I wanted to accomplish prior to turning 30, and for Christmas last year Kali and Nicki went in on a homemade gift certificate to help me accomplish some of my goals, which included going to a new place, eating new food, meeting new people, walking 30 miles (ummm yeah not happening in the rain), and yes. . .they even offered to watch a documentary with me (which I'm sure they are happy to have missed out on).

So where did we go? To Port Angeles. We stayed with her Aunt and Uncle (my new people to meet) that night, and then we spent the next day we spent shopping. They also took me out to dinner (where for my new food I had seafood stuffed mushrooms w/hollandaise sauce).

It was a fun and silly time away with the girls. Mid way through Saturday afternoon we found our respite being entertained by Cassie's jumping beans.

What can I say? We're easily amused.

That evening before we headed back home I also found a pair of fabulous heels to dress up my black dress for our attendance at this years Handle Messiah at Benaroya Hall.

If they're not your cup of tea, to bad. I love them and they'll look really nice with my dress. Now for accessories!!!

The drive back to the Port Townsend ferry found us listening to a really nice preaching CD. It was mostly geared at a younger audience on how to guard yourself against getting involved with the wrong guy, or prematurely entering into a relationship, but I found that there were still principles that could apply to me, and that I wish I had known, or had the strength to apply to myself when I was much younger. Oh well, the point is to learn and move on.

All in all it was a fun weekend, and I'm glad we got that in before this Christmas comes around. Now for the documentary!!!

#9 on my list, Help someone who can not help themselves (#2)

No one, except for God, knows what tomorrow holds. Let me also say that one of the things I like about living in a small town is the ability to feel safe when doing things like I did below. One thing I do know, from experience, is that generally people who live in big cities of more culturally diverse areas are a lot less willing to stick their neck out for people. If I lived back in CA or in another large city I'd probably be a lot less inclined to want to stop and aid my fellow man. However, that's my short coming, which I need to work on, and I do think that there is something to be said to just practicing good safety.

Yesterday was gorgeous! A very A-typical day for WA in January (for pictures go here). But without any cloud cover all of the moisture on the ground turns to ice/frost in the cold, and begins to accumulate on the roads. Which is not so bad during the day, but during the evening you can't see it. That being said, if I had known what was going to happen last night I would have saved #9 on my list for this event. However, I did not so all I can do is add to it and share what went on while I was on my way to a friends house to watch a movie.

I was leaving Kali's house and heading north. When I saw someone flagging a car down and thought that it had simply backed into a ditch while tying to make a 3 point turn. Ummm, no. What I had rolled up on was actually 3 teenagers (all 16, the driver had only had her license for 10 months) that had slipped on the icy road and rolled over (yes, it was a top heavy SUV). All of them were shook up and besides some cuts on their knuckles, from the broken glass, all were visibly OK. One said that her rib hurt, but the rest seemed to be fine. As I surveyed the scene, the driver was already on the phone with her parents, the owner of the home nearby was inside calling 911, and all 3 of them were freezing. What could I do? Well the corner of the road they were on is very dark. Except for the lights from the nearby houses, or a drivers headlights, there is no illumination for the road (this is a notoriously accident prone corner). So I opened up my sleeping bag (in my trunk from this summers HWY 20 project. See procrastination does pay off;)) and gave it to the kids to stay warm and stayed there with my hazard lights flashing so that way people would try and be careful as they were driving by. Even with that there were still people that wanted to be Mario Andriette turning around this corner and almost took us out (now that would have been even crazier).

I'm very thankful that for all of them being kids they were pretty calm and that none of them were screamers (from experience there's nothing worse than trying to calm down a screamer in something like this). Of course the paramedics came and all of them were taken to the hospital (just because you're OK on the outside doesn't mean that somethings not wrong inside). Since I didn't really see how it happened I wasn't required to give a statement to the Sheriff, but I did have to wait until the emergency vehicles left before I could leave.

As we were waiting for the paramedics to show up I took a look at the car and the roll bar on the passengers side was completely caved in and poking into the head rest. I looked at the kids and asked "Who was in the passenger seat?" One of the girls said "That was me." She said that as soon as she new the car was going to roll she covered her head and got into the fetal position, and that once the car came to a stop she looked up and there was the bar. Seriously people if she had not done that the bar could have gone straight through her skull and then I would have been dealing with a completely different situation (and most definitely a screamer).

So here's the thing. God was definitely keeping the passengers of that car safe. No, I don't know their spiritual status, but God doesn't show favoritism. If that were true, who would be able to be saved? Deuteronomy 10:18, says that God loves the stranger (read Deuteronomy 10:12-22 if you interested in how we should be treating the stranger, good message last night Pastor). Of course that means He cares about the spiritual needs of the stranger, but also their physical ones as well. Sometimes, I'd venture to say most often, a persons physical needs are the foremost in their minds, especially if they don't know the Lord, and if someone who does know Christ can meet them there is a open door to be a physical and visible testimony of how the Lord does love them. They may not react right away, and you may never get to see the results, but that's what the Lord does. Think about Matthew 15:32, this is when Jesus is getting ready to multiply the loaves and fishes. It states that he had compassion for their physical need. Love is a verb. An action that we are commanded to show to the lost. How much do you feel loved whenever your needs are ignored by those closest to you? I venture to say not much. So then, how much do we love the Lord if we're not willing to keep his commandments? Again, I venture to say not much. My idea, just think about that the next time you want to hurry up and pass by someone who needs help, or you become to involve in the business of your day for another person. People may not keep the tract you give them, and they may scoff at you when you try to share the Gospel outright, but they'll always remember an act of kindness that someone extends to them, whether they know what motivated it or not.

Birthday Hijinks

We thought it was fun, but let me begin at the beginning. . .

Friday was my friend Nicki's birthday and so we thought we would send her a unique birthday greeting and decorate her car with lots of love and wishes. It didn't go over like we thought it would, but here is the video of the fun that we had in trying to make her day special.



Later we went white water rafting I'll post some photos later once I get them all. We're still waiting on the photos to come from the rafting place in Leavenworth.